Dean K Holden

Bio’s of course are designed to sell some aspect of yourself to whatever market is of interest. However, in some cases, including my own, the only object is to offer a degree of familiarisation which I feel is helpful. Interesting how I have watched my Bio shrink over the last few years like my favourite shirt after constant washes.

Writer, speaker, photographer, Intuitive, nomad

Born in the UK, although lived and schooled in various parts of Europe and then ultimately residing in a number of different countries around the world. Have consulted with individuals and organisations on matters self motivational and self expansive throughout that time. Have authored several books, guested on radio programs and been featured in periodicals.

There, how vague was that?

Not only am I aware of the significant changes humanity is facing presently, my senses were mapping out the journey that covid would take and it appears that I am now finding myself descending from the monastery and shaking the dust from my wings.

All words and Photographs by Dean K Holden

The Journey to There and Back

For the longest time there was a website, and the nomadic life that to some degree it portrayed. It was between countries that the covid curtain came down and I found myself choosing swiftly which place I would be drawn to, to ride out the storm.

I have been engaged in many pursuits over the years but stillness over a long period of time was not one of them and I found myself, like many, on a journey of going inwards and subsequently taking out a great deal of trash.

For quite some time prior to this change of direction I had felt that something large but undefinable was heading our collective way. Now in retrospect I can see that it arrived in the most tragic and yet illuminated form. Change was so deeply required and yet we as a species are so reticent to engage in it, even though we are consistently reminded that it's only through change that we grow.

It's usually a shove, and perhaps not a small one, that can dislodge us from the states of normal that we often desparately hang on, believing it will keep us safe from the undefinable space within. We don't like to think of it but most are aware that change is inevitable, it just raises that question, what will it take, the feather or the bulldozer?

For many months I saw isolation and the retention of movement as something that was taken from me, a loss of the freedom that I had seen as part of my makeup, until a day arrived when something caused me to rethink how I perceived my position which I am sure was the case for many.

I began to observe stillness and isolation as an opportunity, a journey that might take me somewhere I had rarely had the chance to previously explore. As I followed this path that was leading me deeper within myself, much began to unfold along the way with the increasing sense that I might not be returning to the place that I began this journey in quite the same way. This of course is the objective of all great journeys and one of the reasons I believe that this challenging process descended upon us all in the way that it did.

The blinkers of denial that have allowed our world to become so fractured and given us the ability to wreak such destruction on the very place that sustains us has become a marker to the degree that change needed to be implemented, and it's often the case that we as a species don't make adjustments until we come to the very edge of the precipice, even though we have slowly come to understand that change comes from the inside out, not the other way around.
We are used to tribulation of one sort or another and see it mostly as something to overcome before we can return to normal. When the oppressor is unseen and strikes without warning, giving no indication of duration, we become more destabilized over time than most other forms of collective challenge.

What happens to us in such a place over time? We start to question ourselves, we begin to free ourselves from the normal we have created and we begin to reevaluate what is fundamentally important. As the mist of normal begins to clear we slowly start to realize that we have been making adjustments, getting to know ourselves in a new way, and subsequently the world around us begins to take on a different hue as we gradually reemerge to understand that it's not only the virus that's highly contagious, so is change

Change is something that is hard to keep to ourselves. Not only does our view become more expanded but we also affect others in a variety of ways. We may have felt disconnected but as we grow so does our sense of connection as beyond the barriers we create there is always connection, to everything.

In my quieted world that was now devoid of a constant flow of people and the exchanges I was used to making, it became clear that there was more that had been piled up in the inner basement than I had previously been cognizant of. I knew that once you observe limitation it already begins to move towards a point of release and the more you are willing to let go of it the greater your landscape begins to change.

Aware that change always comes in a disguise that we do not recognize, it felt time to let previous views of myself dissipate and the website was one way to start, so I disbanded it, feeling that it would remain that way until I felt more clear on who I was becoming, and if such a space remained blank, that was alright too.

The fact that you are reading this would suggest that something slowly is reemerging from the ruins of the old. Whatever you let go of that returns then it was meant to be part of who you are now, what did not has no longer value in where you are going next.

There are clues woven everywhere into the fabric of our lives, suggesting that there is a rhythm to our process. Every film, book, song, play, etc, has a similar theme. Our disharmony from trauma causes chaos within and around us. A challenge large enough to knock us sideways comes along, we then perceive our previous behavior and change the road we are on, and begin to manifest balance and a display of character that we were always capable of manifesting.

We live in a dualistic reality. There are always two sides to everything, even where suffering is involved, out of suffering comes the opportunity to see things in a different way. Perhaps the residue of this time frame where we were forced to live more inwardly, more in the momentwill assist us to begin the ultimate journey, one that brings us home to ourselves.

The more we find balance with ourselves the more we can contribute balance to the whole, and out of this calamity we may have received a big enough nudge to start us on our way to writing a new chapter in the human story. Looking around us, it does appear that even more chaos has emerged while the darker side of human nature is still very much on display. However, we know that it always gets darker before the dawn and if our collective light is burning brighter then those that wish to remain in the shadows are simply being illuminated.

We are a long way from being out of the woods, with all the destruction created to our world and within ourselves by our unharmonious living, but perhaps a page is beginning to turn and if we choose to no longer hold back we may well yet evolve to be remarkable beings that we are capable of becoming.

It is still early daze and I am still slowly working on what I would like this site to represent. For now it may be like post its on a busy office wall, but I am sure it will morph into something else before too long. I am glad that you stopped by and I hope you visit again to see where it's going

Dean K Holden